But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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