check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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