so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
