you didnt know i had herpes?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
