im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
