I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
