i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
