Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
