I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
