Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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