i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
