At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
