Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Alive.
So much puke
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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