a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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