Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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