hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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