so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
