I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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