everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
