I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
