His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize