Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
