Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
