I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was like eating out sand paper
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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