god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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