My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
