I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize