i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
