They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
