I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
