your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
