Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
