This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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