my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
