my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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