Whod you bang
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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