is your mom at the bar?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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