so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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