last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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