Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I currently don't understand fingers.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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