I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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