R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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