If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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