I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
