I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize