I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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