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Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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