i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
