I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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