There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
