Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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