There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize