Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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