my phone needs a breathalizer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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