Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
