The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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