I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
