i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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