Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You left your phone here
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