I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
