can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
