I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
